Saturday, January 08, 2005


The world has changed quite a bit since I last wrote something intelligent. Our small planet is stuck with the cowboy for another four years; Ukrainians pulled a coup de force and got a (hopefully) semi-descent and more promising government into power. A tsunami swiped the lives of countless number of people, and we are all convincing ourselves of our great generosity and kindness by donating some petty change. As a proof of how much our world has evolved since the middle ages, there are religious figures that dare pretend the tsunami disaster is god’s punishment for our wrongdoings. So, if I understand well, god does not intervene when we fight and kill each other by millions (because we are free creatures, and have to prove ourselves in the eyes of god), but then, when he’s had enough of seeing us do retarded shit, he punishes us by killing a bunch of innocent people. Makes absolutely no sense. It hurts me too see people, who are supposed to be religious leaders, and serve as an example to the rest of the brainwashed creatures that follow their teachings, twist a human tragedy into their own advantage, with the hopes of scaring a maximum of non-believers and integrate them, or reinforce the believes of their current flock.

On a more personal note, these winter vacations became what I would call "le temps des retrouvailles" (use Google to translate this if you don’t speak French, which you should learn). Quite a number of old time friends, from our beautiful and worriless undergraduate years, have returned to the family nest that Montreal is, only to realize how it isn’t their home-nest anymore, and how it took only two short years for this change to occur. But, most importantly to me, their presence here allowed the rest of us, the ones that remained behind in Montreal, to see how much or how little we have evolved. Same conversations most night, rarely any totally new topics, lots of story telling, but mostly lots of growing up easily seen in everyone, and translating in less drinking, smoking, less chance taking and the creation of new social circles. Actually, for the first time in seven or eight years, no member of our high-school/cegep/university "group" celebrated new years eve with another member, and what’s even more significative, no one really cared about not being with the others. Is this a bad thing? I don’t think so, as long as everyone feels at home with the people there are with now, and because we are all still friends, no matter what (well, almost what).

I am not in my best of shapes today, too much drinking and other ill shit in the last 3 weeks, and lots of emotions and events storming through my life. I am saying this because it is simply unbelievable how one can easily see the state of mind I am in reflected in my writing.

Finally, I want to give props to my man 2-Pac, and thank him for his honest, sometimes violent and hostile, sometimes respectful lyrics, that I use, like millions of other people out there, to channel my feelings in. Musicians do a great service to society through their arts. Here is a line from 2-Pac that always makes me realize I have to shut up because the situation can always, and I mean absolutely always, be worse:

"It’s so hard to be positive when nig*as shooting at your prick"

Picture me Rollin, by 2-Pac

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