Sunday, July 30, 2006

Huge Studioz

My studio.

Its funny, this blog has lost a large chunk of its existence because it is not read. It has become a repository of my thoughts and moods, and mostly a catharsis tool to help me cope with some moods that I get in.

Loneliness is horrible. Staying home alone is horrible. And I believe that a lot of people are lonely, society is moving towards more and more loneliness. Beatle's song, Eleanor Rigby, is nothing compared to the way that people live today. Aging also enforces loneliness; when you can live and be ok alone is probably one of the biggest sign that one has aged (not matured, aged I say).

Art is wonderful when you are alone. Tonight I am alone, but I am listening to music, writing and sharing another photo album online. My music is from the Internet, I am writing on the Internet, my photo album is on the Internet. Conclusion: the internet is wonderful when you are alone. True, the Internet pushes us to be more alone sometimes, but tonight, having no one to open my mouth to, the Internet is really helping me.

The hardest part of being lonely is having no one to talk to. Or maybe it is having no one to look at. I am not sure anymore, but my mouth sure aches to talk to someone. It feels like years since it hasn't been opened, it is hurting, even though less than two hours ago I spoke on the phone with a friend from the other side of the globe, alone too, in his apartment, just like mine probably, but in another time zone.

Yet there are people in my time zone alone too. I don't know, tonight I feel like the villages of once were much more humane than the cities of today. We are getting closer but really further than ever. I know, it's a regular cliché that half brained goons can shoot you, but tonight it feels so real to me, so true.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

I have found my little muse princess, I'll tell her.

These changes ain't changing me
The cold-hearted boy I used to be

Yeah, you know you got to help me out
Yeah, oh don't you put me on the back burner
You know you got to help me out

Giving up is so easy to do, it's so easy, I want to give up. I am sure I've said this before. I am listening to a song by Led Zep that I've listened to for almost 10 years while I am fighting with the same deamon for almost as long.

People give up, it is the easiest thing to do. But sometimes you can't give up. Nothing is like it used to be, nothing is like it is supposed to be.

People are far from me, again.

But I think that what makes us human is keeping the old, the sick, the weak, the young alive. Is it worth it? Is it right?

But now I have understood. You can stop doing something without giving up. Hope is inside you and it doesn't require your actions, it only requires your belief.

One day, far from now, everyone will be there again.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Brian Jungen and the Jazz Festival

Last two weeks have been pretty rich in culture, at least according to my own standards.

First there was the Jazz Festival. I tried to cover it and failed miserably (see the Jazz pages here), but because of that failed initiative I did end up going to festival much more than I have ever did in the past. And this year's edition was a special one for me; there was a big gypsy/Balkan music theme, probably because the closing concert was Goran Bregovic. There were bands like Kaba Horo, Gadji Gadjo, a band called Balkan Beat Box. It felt good to see music from my culture being broadcasted at such a level in Montreal, to people from here and everywhere.

Goran's closing concert was the climax of that pro-Balkan cultural brainwashing. There were these English speaking men next to me at the show who asked me questions about the music, and during the last songs there were thousands of people dancing, enjoying themselves: all innocent people invaded by the Balkan spirit without their knowledge.

I made a lot of videos during the festival; they will be up soon on my brand new UTube account (yet again I am jumping on a new web band-wagon).

Also, I went to the Musée d'art contemporain de Montréal, in the heart of the Jazz Fest, to see the exhibit of Brian Jungen. That was my other cultural activity, a quick and fulfilling one, because Jungen has a few but impressive pieces. Well, the most impressive ones are obviously the plastic chair whales. They are stunning through the imaginative use of regular household items. On display were also the Jordan Nike Air shoes native masks made by Jungen. They were beautiful, and Jungen's ability to use the features of the shoes to make features of masks was unbelievable.

Talking about Goran, three days latter I am still singing his songs at work. I loved the show. I'll write about it on my Jazz pages.

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